Hope springs eternal
Pitchers and catchers open camp today in Fort Myers, and hope springs eternal for a better season in 2013. I mean, could it get any worse than 2012?

Sure it could.
I lived in Baltimore in the late 80’s. In 1988 the Orioles were only five years separated from their last World Series win, in 1983. That’s the exact same gap as the Red Sox had last year, 2007-2012. The ’88 Orioles opened the season by dropping the first 21 games. After the 3rd loss, Bob Rivers, new morning show host on 98 Rock, announced that he’d stay on the air round-the-clock until the team won. And he did. The manager, Cal Ripken, Sr. (father of star shortstop Cal, Jr.) was fired after loss #6. Everyone slumped simultaneously. It was so bad they didn’t put batting averages on the scoreboard because they all started with a zero.

The O’s finally won a game in Chicago on April 29th, then dropped two more, and returned home for “Fantastic Fans Night” (this was already on the books before the season started) on May 2nd to a sellout crowd at Memorial Stadium. Bob Rivers was given a full Orioles uniform, name on the back and all, and got a standing ovation when he threw out the first pitch, like a girl, as they used to say. (An outdated phrase. I happen to know from experience that girls can throw really well if you show them how.) Baltimore went on to win that game, 9-4. They finished last that year, with a record of 54-107. That’s fifteen games worse than the 2012 Red Sox.

So what happened the next year?
In 1989 they improved to 87-75 and finished 2nd, two games behind Toronto and four ahead of the 3rd-place Red Sox. That’s a 33-game improvement. If the Red Sox do the same thing in 2013…win 33 more games than last year…they’ll win 102 games, win the AL East and go on to win the World Series. Hopefully, the National League will win the All-Star game, so the Red Sox clinching win in the World Series will come at Fenway Park.

Hope springs eternal.

…to the Red Seats!
As soon as the 2012 Red Sox season mercifully ended, I called the Red Sox office and asked of they were getting a barrage of angry STH calls saying they would not renew for 2013. (STH is Sox-speak for season ticket holder.) I said that I’m an STH in Section 29. Great view but the seats themselves are old, small and uncomfortable. Legroom is non-existant. These are the wooden blue ones built after the 1934 fire at Fenway. They’re the only wooden seats left in any Major League Baseball park. I told them I’d like to upgrade to the red seats. I’d actually made this same request after the September 2011 meltdown and the year before after the playoff Papelbomb against the Angels. And two years before that when JD Drew took a season-ending bases-loaded called third strike against Tampa Bay in the ALCS. They replied, “We really won’t know if anything is available until February, but we’ll put you on a waiting list. Send us an email saying what you’re looking for.” That was more encouraging than the 2008, 2010 and 2011 calls.

Why are the blue seats still there?
When the Henry group took over the Red Sox eleven years ago they did an excellent job of upgrading and modernizing the ballpark. They added the Monster Seats, the right field roof deck, took the glass off of the .406 Club, re-added the National League to the left-field scoreboard, put in high-def video boards, improved access, concourses, concessions, food, you name it. They also replaced a lot of the seats. But not the wooden blue grandstand seats. It was decided that they should remain because they are part of the aesthetic charm of Fenway. Clearly this idea came from someone who is 5′ 9″ or shorter, skinny and has not spent three or four hours at a time sitting in these seats. Also, the Red Sox have had no problem squeezing people into them.

Fast forward to late January.
I get an email from the Red Sox saying that there are a very few seats that have opened up…full season only, in the EMC Club. $348 each. Minimum of two seats, and it’s a multi-year deal. Do the math and that’s $56,376 per year, not including parking and food. For three years (isn’t “multi” more than two?) it’s $169,128. No, thanks. They did say that taking a pass on this offer would not affect my position on the upgrade waiting list.

Then came last Friday.
It’s February 1st, and there’s story in the Boston Globe – page one, above the fold – saying that Red Sox ticket sales are off by 10%. I called about the upgrade. They said I was definitely on the list, they had my email saying that I like my view from Section 29, but something lower down in the red seats would be ideal, and I would get a callback for sure. And I did. They offered me Loge Box seats one section closer to home with an even better view. The new red seats, sculpted for all your butt comfort needs. Cupholders, more legroom. At the end of the row, next to a railing, so there will be exactly no excuse-me’s from other fans heading to concessions. That was an easy yes.

But I’m not changing the name of my blog.
View From Loge Box 155 just doesn’t have the regular-guy-at-the-ballgame ring that View From Section 29 has.

This should be simple. Just play the songs in the order in which they tested, right?

That theory might work well in a format like Classic Rock or Classic Hits where you play one type of music from a finite era. Your top ten testing songs should also be your ten most played. Maybe.

Not so fast with AC. An AC station that has market tenure and a strong brand may very well be playing songs from the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, 00’s and the Teens (we finally have a name for this decade). Everyone from Louis Armstrong to Demi Lovato with Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi and Hootie in between. When listeners vote for songs in an auditorium test they’re not asked whether they want to hear a particular song on their favorite AC station, they’re just asked whether they like it a lot, a little or not that much. And if they’ve ever heard it before.

The next step is where science meets art. The successful interpretation of these numbers. Some researchers and consultants use a formula in which you add up the “Like a Lot” and “Like Some” votes and call that “Total Positives.” Then subtract the negative and unfamiliar votes and rank the songs. That’s the science part. Easy.

How often, though, is the easy way the best way? Let’s look at the art part. If you take the process a few steps further and think about what the votes really mean to a listener, you see that the difference between “Like Some” (“Yeah, I guess it’s okay”) and “Dislike Some” (“Meh, not all that much”) is like the difference between 2 and 3 on a scale of 1 to 4. Not a passionate difference. If instead, you ignore the non-passionate votes and just look at the 4’s and 1’s…the “I Love it” and “I hate it” votes…you get a much clearer picture of audience reaction in the PPM era of split-second button pushing. Look at the spread on each song between the 4 votes and the 1 votes. That’s the percentage of listeners who would crank the station up compared to the number who would blow it off if that song were played.

Then there’s another step. The fit. Tastes change from year to year, and artists and songs that you would never have dreamed of playing on an AC even two years ago can have some of the top-testing songs today. The most important factor in the “fit” test is that the person who is making the final decision on what gets played and what doesn’t is not the out-of-town corporate person or consultant, but the person in the market, on-site, who has the sound of the station seared into in his or her brain. That would be the Brand Manager, better known as the Program Director.

Did Beyonce lip-sync the Star Spangled Banner?

It’s the big buzz the last 24 hours or so. Personally, I have no problem with it if she did. It always bugs me when people mess up the National Anthem. I’m not talking about people who can’t sing – I’m talking about people who can sing very well but feel the need to put their own mark on the anthem and screw it up by changing notes, sometimes changing words and generally over-singing. It happens at baseball games all the time. The worst example I can think of was Patti LaBelle at the World Series game in Philadelphia in 2008. Just unlistenable.

Beyonce did nothing like that. She looked great and sounded great. Really killed it. Okay, she did change a couple of notes, but nothing annoying.

So what about the lip-sync business? It has been revealed that the US Marine Band was a recorded track. They admit that. That’s fine. Band instruments don’t always work correctly in cold weather, so they use tracks to make sure it sounds right for the millions watching around the world. It’s also been revealed that Beyonce had no opportunity to rehearse with the US Marine Band. You just know that the Marines are not about to change any notes or do unnecessary extra flourishes when they play the anthem. They are, after all, Marines.

So what about Beyonce? I think she did lip-sync. She does a great job of it (admittedly, for most of the song her mouth is hidden by the mic, and she’s not on camera the whole time anyway), but if you watch carefully…at the very end she sings “the brave” a second time. Watch her mouth (at 2:20 on the video below) and notice that she opens her mouth a nanosecond too late on “brave.” That can only happen if you’re not doing it live.

Who cares? She did a great job on a song that’s very tough to sing.

Year one of the ‘Roid era Hall of Fame voting…

And no one got in. There has been much debate about how to handle the likes of Bobby Bonds, Roger Clemens and Sammy Sosa when it comes to Hall of Fame voting. Put them on the same ballot as Jack Morris,

Why do they say that?

Traffic reports are all over the radio…not just on the 3’s on WBZ…and all over the TV as well. It make sense, because traffic, like weather, affects people directly.

CEO’s who never drive in traffic jams and broadcast consultants who live in another city often don’t get the appeal. One General Manager once told he he was sure that afternoon traffic reports were less important than morning drive traffic reports. I tried to explain that the exact opposite is true.

Suppose you hit an unexpected jam on the way to work and you arrive late. You simply say, “Man, that was a horrible commute this morning!” and someone else will chime in and agree. All you are is late for work, and you’re probably not the only one.

It’s different on the way home. Bad traffic in the way home means you’re late for your kid’s soccer game, late for dinner, late for whatever you do on your own time.

Why can’t they explain it clearly?
Because most traffic reports on radio and TV are generated by Metro Networks, a nationwide service that came into the Boston market in 1982. If you ever wonder why they make some curious or misleading references, here’s why: They have to repeat the same things over and over and come up with rote ways of saying certain things. Example: How many times have you heard someone refer to “the supermarket overpass” on the Pike? (Rick Simonson, the morning traffic anchor on WBZ, has probably said it over 10,000 times.) What’s wrong with that? When they built in Pike extension in the mid-60’s the old Star Market in West Newton was in the path, so Star bought the air rights to build a new supermarket over the highway. Meaning the turnpike passes under the supermarket. So why do reporters call the underpass an overpass? Because someone wrote a format sheet for traffic reports back in 1982 and made a mistake. Years come and go, and new reporters continue to call it an overpass because no one ever updated the format sheet. One other thing…the reason that they sayIt’s back itsay For one thing, the Pike goes under the supermarket in West Newton.

…the ruling on the field is overturned.

One of the comments on my last blog about ranking months was that December should be #1. As I’m taking down the lights I threw the red flag and the ranking went under review in the booth.

With all the seasonal lights, the parties, the smiling faces, the decorations and the good will…I’m moving December up to #4. August drops to 7th. April and September stay at #5 and #6.

Unless we’re facing a tough lefty.

My friend Robyn Bradley suggested we do a “faveology” list of favorite months. I did this once before on FB but it disappeared. Or I can’t find it. So here it goes again:

#1 July. Love it. Especially on the Cape. The 4th is my favorite day of the year. There is no such thing as a bad 4th of July on Cape Cod. The whole month has the nicest weather of the year. Everyone smiles at you when you say, “hey.”

#2 June. Summer begins, school gets out, weddings happen. Also a great month. Many of the best songs of the year debut in June.

#3 May. How can you not like May? All the leaves are out, there are graduations, the April rain is gone, you sing songs about flowers and Mary.

#4 August. Still summer, still great, but it’s starting to wind down and the lawn and gardens need extra watering.

#5 April. Opening Day, Daylight Saving, buds on trees, croci bloom, you put aluminum sulfate on the hydrangeas so they’ll be a spectacular blue in July. The world wakes up.

#6 September. My birthday. Also my daughter Kara’s. New TV season, new school year, new all sorts of things. The seasonal change gives you a charge.

#7 December. Christmas needs no explanation. I feel like Clark Griswold with the lights but I enjoy it. I also do a decent Santa for the little guys.

#8 October. My wife’s birthday. The World Series is fun (if the Yankees aren’t in it). Foliage looks great, especially in Wellesley. We have a landscape guy come to do the raking.

#9 November. Things start looking stark, but Thanksgiving is always good. It’s a great family time.

#10 February. Cold, but at least it’s short. My daughter Caitlin’s birthday. Also my brother, a couple of nephews, several sisters in law. Just goes to show how good a month May is.

#11 January. You take down all the Christmas stuff and everything looks bleak. Coldest month of the year. It drags on.

#12 March. I’ve never trusted March. Yes, Spring supposedly begins but it really doesn’t. You’re sick of winter but even if it hasn’t snowed yet you can’t be sure. Your car looks like shit all month. There are no holidays. At least not any day-off ones. Yes, Spring Training gets under way, but it’s cold and raw and the snow is filthy.

So there it is. We’re in early #11 right now.

Here it is, the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Still looking for a last-minute book idea for someone? Here are three completely different suggestions:

Extraordinary Rendition
If you’re a fan of Showtime’s “Homeland” and you’re bummed that Season 2 just ended, try “Extraordinary Rendition” by Paul Batista. No relation to the Detective in “Dexter.” It’s a thriller about a New York City lawyer asked by the ACLU to do a Pro Bono case defending Ali Hussein, who’s been imprisoned as a terrorist for several years without ever being charged or even told what his alleged crime is. I won’t do any plot-spoiling here. I’ll just say that anyone who enjoys “Homeland” will enjoy “Extraordinary Rendition.”

What Happened in Granite Creek
Second on this list is a murder mystery called “What Happened in Granite Creek,” the second novel by Robyn Bradley. Robyn was on this year’s BookBundlz list of best new authors. Robyn tells the story in first person, but from the POV of several different characters and in a back-and-forth timeline. A definite page-turner (or thumb-slider) with an ending you will not expect. Worthy of being made into a mini-series.

The Baseball Hall of Shame
Third on the list is The Best of Blooperstown edition of “The Baseball Hall of Shame” and it’s full of quick but funny stories that any baseball fan will enjoy. In the chapter about Most Pitiful Pitching Performances of All Time we learn about the three Kansas City A’s pitchers who gave up 11 runs in one inning…on only one hit. The hit was followed by three errors, a hit batsman and 8 bases-loaded walks. It almost makes Alfredo Aceves look good by comparison.

“Extraordinary Rendition” and “What Happened in Granite Creek” are both available in print and e-book editions. “The Baseball Hall of Shame” is only in print, but it will fit in a stocking so you’d better hightail it if you want one in time for tomorrow.

One more thing. If you’re reading “The Night Before Christmas” (or correctly titled, “A Visit From St. Nicholas”) out loud tonight, remember that most versions have a typo. Santa’s seventh and eighth reindeers should be Donner and Blitzen, not Donder and Blitzen. Why? Because “donner”(only one d) and “blitzen” are the German words for thunder and lightning. Have a Merry Christmas!

Today was batting practice at Fenway for season ticket holders.  Sorry about 2012, would you like to take batting practice at home plate?  Yes, indeed.

I wore my official Ted Williams #9 home shirt with the 1939 seal on the sleeve, blue undersleeves (like they wore in Ted’s day), and a nicely broken-in hat.  Kathy went with me to record it for posterity.  As I was checking in the Sox representative said if I hit the wall he’d comp me my season tickets for 2013.

They took us in through the visitor’s locker room, down the walkway under the grandstand, up into the visitor’s dugout, then onto the field.  I could choose from wood or metal bats and went with wood.  I could probably have hit the ball farther with a metal bat, but using a real wood bat is way more fun.  The bat was heavier than I would have preferred, but I could swing it.  I found a helmet in my size and headed for home plate.

They announced me on the PA.  “Now batting, number 9, ‘the Don’…Don Kelley.” The entire at-bat was on the Jumbotron, but I didn’t know that until afterward because I was concentrating on seeing the ball real good.  

I had gone to the batting cages on Cape Cod in the morning to take some practice BP both left-handed and right-handed.  Baseball medium-fast.  I had surprised myself by hitting some respectable fly balls righty, so at Fenway I decided to go up there righty and use a Dewey stance.

Five pitches.  I connected on every one of them.  Only fouled one back.  One of them I hit to short and figured if Lugo were playing I might well be on base.  That white blotch next to the edge of the batting cage, above the guy in the red shirt, is the ball soaring toward short.

Afterward we headed to the Red Sox dugout, took some shots sitting on the bench, standing up the railing looking concerned, walking down the gangway to the Red Sox clubhouse looking disgusted, like I’d just been tossed for arguing a close call that went the wrong way.

Then we posed with the two World Series trophies and went up on the Green Monster for some more shots.  It was not an off-the-wall experience (while I was there no one came anywhere near hitting the wall), but I didn’t swing and miss at all, so it wasn’t a fan experience. It was the most fun I’ve had at Fenway without seeing a game.